Experiments in Magical Change  by  Frank Moore

BEING IN A NON-NORMAL BODY HAS MADE IT CLEAR TO ME THAT LIFE CAN BE SEEN AS PERFORMANCE. MY BODY AND MY ATTITUDES TOWARD LIFE BREAK TABOOS AND CHANGE THINGS EVEN BY MY JUST SITTING IN A FANCY RESTAURANT. A SEXY WOMAN (MY WIFE, LINDA) IS FEEDING ME, LAUGHING, HAVING A GOOD TIME. PEAS AND BEETS AND MASHED POTATOES ARE RUNNING DOWN MY MATTED BEARD. FOR ME AND LINDA, IT IS JUST EVERYDAY LIFE. BUT FOR THE UP-TIGHT, HIGH-CLASS SOCIETY LADY AT THE NEXT TABLE, IT IS A TERRIBLY GROSS, DISGUSTING ATTACK ON HER NEAT CLEAN REALITY. I COUGH, LOUD AND LONG. A KNIFE CUTS THE NORMAL WORLD. A YOUNG HOMELY GIRL AT ANOTHER TABLE THINKS, "IF HE CAN HAVE FUN, WHY CAN'T I?"

I BECAME SUCKED INTO PERFORMANCE NOT TO TELL STORIES, NOT TO PAINT PICTURES FOR OTHERS TO LOOK AT, NOT EVEN TO REVEAL SOMETHING ABOUT MYSELF OR ABOUT THE STATE OF THINGS, AND CERTAINLY NOT FOR FAME OR FORTUNE. IT WAS SIMPLY THE BEST WAY THAT I SAW TO CREATE THE INTIMATE COMMUNITY WHICH I, AS A PERSON, NEEDED AND WHICH I THOUGHT SOCIETY NEEDED AS AN ALTERNATIVE TO PERSONAL ISOLATION…

I AM NOT T.V. I AM NOT THE SHOW. ART SHOULD NOT BE A SHOW. THERE ARE A MILLION SHOWS FROM T.V., MOVIES, SCHOOL, SPORTS, MUSIC, THEATER, THE STOCK MARKET TO THE NEWS AND POLITICS… ALL WITH THE ILLUSION OF PARTICIPATION, BUT WITH THE REALITY OF GRAND PASSIVITY AND SHORT ATTENTION SPANS.

I DO NOT FUNCTION ALL THAT WELL IN THE SOCIAL, POLITICAL, CASUAL, SEXUAL, ECONOMICAL, COMPETITIVE WORLD. SO I LOOK TO PERFORMANCE TO CREATE A WORLD OF COMMUNITY, INTIMACY, AND HUMAN INTERACTION. FOR ME, ART IS A MATTER OF SURVIVAL.

I HAD BEEN PAINTING OILS FOR YEARS, PAINTING WITH A BRUSH STRAPPED TO MY FOREHEAD, PAINTING NUDES FROM MAGAZINE PHOTOS. ONE DAY, A RICH WOMAN ASKED ME TO PAINT A NUDE OF HER. MY WIFE SET ME UP IN THE FANCY LIVING ROOM WITH PAINTS AS THE WOMAN UNDRESSED. ON THAT DAY I REALIZED HOW ART CAN GIVE PEOPLE PERMISSION TO DO WHAT NORMALLY IS FORBIDDEN. IT GIVES A FRAME THAT SWITCHES REALITIES FROM THE NARROW NORMAL REALITY TO THE FREEING ALTERED REALITY OF CONTROLLED FOLLY.

I WAS ON THE CENTER PLAZA "SELLING NEWSPAPERS." BUT SELLING PAPERS WAS ONLY AN EXCUSE, AN EXCUSE FOR WATCHING PEOPLE, TALKING TO PEOPLE WHO HAD THE SLOWNESS AND THE INSIGHTFUL CURIOSITY TO STOP AND TALK… A WAY FOR ME TO ASK THEM TO MODEL FOR ME. THESE SPECIAL PEOPLE WERE MY REAL TARGETS FOR MY STREET PIECES. THEY SAW PAST THE MASK OF THE CRIPPLE. THE MASSES USE THE MASK OF THE CRIPPLE TO RELIEVE THEIR GUILT, TO REINFORCE THEIR FRAGILE SUPERIORITY OF BEING "NORMAL," TO MAKE THEMSELVES FEEL BETTER BY THROWING MONEY (UP TO $20 A THROW) AT THE LESS FORTUNATE AT WHOM THEY WILL NOT EVEN LOOK. THE THIRD TYPE OF PERSON WAS MADE UP OF THE POOR AND THE KIDS WHO GAVE MONEY AS A PURE SPIRITUAL ACT.

THE NEWSPAPER SELLING QUICKLY FELL AWAY. ALL I HAD TO DO IS SIT THERE ON THE SIDEWALK, BEING AVAILABLE TO TALK. IT DID NOT MATTER THAT I DRESSED FANCY, OR HAD A SIGN SAYING "I DON'T WANT MONEY; I WANT YOU."

I NOTICED THE CHANGES IN THE PEOPLE WHEN THEY TOOK OFF THEIR CLOTHES; HOW THEY RELAXED, HOW THEY STARTED TALKING ON A DEEPER LEVEL ABOUT IMPORTANT PERSONAL THINGS. I STARTED DOING PRIVATE PERFORMANCES THAT INVOLVED DIRECT INTER-PERSONAL ACTING OUT OF EROTIC DREAMS. I STOPPED PAINTING BECAUSE IT BECAME TOO STATIC.

THESE PRIVATE PERFORMANCES BECAME THE BACKBONE OF WHAT I DO. WHAT THE PUBLIC COMES TO SEE, WHAT IS USUALLY THOUGHT OF AS "THE PERFORMANCE," IS IN REALITY ONLY THE TIP OF THE MONSTER, THE MAGIC, THE WORK, THE VISION THAT IS CONTROLLING ME AS AN ARTIST.

I DO NOT SEE THE PERFORMANCE AS MY OWN. MANY ARTISTS GET OVERWHELMED BY TAKING ON THE WHOLE RESPONSIBILITY OF PERFORMANCE, BY THINKING THE PERFORMANCE IS THEMSELVES. THEY GET PUMPED UP WHEN A PIECE SUCCEEDS, AND THEY GET CRUSHED WHEN A PIECE BOMBS. THEY GET BOXED IN BY FEAR OF FAILING, BLOCKED FROM EXPERIMENTING. IT IS SIMILAR TO THE SPIRITUAL HEALER WHO FORGETS THAT HE IS NOT THE ONE WHO IS ACTUALLY DOING THE HEALING. THE MAGIC USUALLY LEAVES HIM.

THERE ARE MANY UNKNOWN AND UNSEEN FORCES AT WORK IN A PERFORMANCE. FRANK MOORE, THE PERFORMANCE ARTIST, IS IN REALITY A FICTITIOUS FRONT MAN FOR PERSONALITIES AND FORCES THAT REALLY CREATE PERFORMANCES.

[lysistrata] ONE REHEARSAL NIGHT I DECIDED WE NEEDED AN AUDIENCE, SO I TOOK US TO THE BERKELEY UA MOVIE THEATER WHICH HAS A GREAT OUTSIDE FOYER. THERE WERE LONG LINES FOR FOUR MOVIES. THERE WE REHEARSED. AS THE WOMAN IN THE CAFE SIX YEARS LATER DESCRIBED IT, THESE PEOPLE WERE TALKING FUNNY, IN GREEK STYLE OBSCENITY… PRETTY GIRLS HUMPING GUYS IN WHEELCHAIRS RIGHT NEXT TO THE MOVIE LINES. THIS WAS AT THE HEIGHT OF THE DISABLED HUMAN RIGHTS MOVEMENT… WE CRIPS HAD SAT IN AT THE SAN FRANCISCO FEDERAL BUILDING FOR A MONTH, BLOCKED BUSES, PICKETED JANE FONDA'S MOVIE, coming home… THIS WOMAN WAS AWARE OF ALL OF THIS… THEN SHE COMES TO A MOVIE (SHE CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS) AND SHE SEES WOMEN AND CRIPS DOING STRANGE, OBSCENE THINGS. SHE SAID FOR HER, THE PIECE MADE THE DISABLED MOVEMENT MORE HUMAN AND ADDED HUMOR TO IT.

WHAT IMPRESSED ME ABOUT THE WOMAN IN THE COFFEEHOUSE IS THAT SHE REMEMBERED FIVE MINUTES OF OBSCENE SILLINESS AFTER SIX YEARS.

THE SHOW WAS IN BAD TASTE, WAS CALLED "EXPLOITATIVE." WHAT MADE IT THUS WAS NOT JUST WHAT WAS DONE, BUT WHO WAS DOING IT. CRIPS, WOMEN AND OTHER "UNTALENTED" UNFORTUNATES. THE FIRST ASSUMPTION OF THE PEOPLE WHO WERE OFFENDED WAS THAT THESE WERE ABLE-BODIED ACTORS MAKING FUN OF CRIPS; THEN, WHEN IT BECAME CLEAR WE WERE REAL CRIPS, THE LEAP INTO DUMBNESS WAS THAT SOMEONE WAS EXPLOITING US. WHEN THEY GOT IT INTO THEIR HEADS THAT WE HAD CREATED OUR OWN ACTS, THE NEW WAY TO DENY OUR POWER WAS TO SAY WE WERE EXPLOITING OUR OWN BODIES. FORGET NUDITY. FORGET BEING SEXUAL. JUST BY GETTING UP ONTO THE STAGE WE WERE EXPLOITING OUR OWN BODIES.

AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER: DOTTY. SHE WAS CREATED WHEN AN ACTRESS JUST COULD NOT REMEMBER HER LINES, CUES, OR ANYTHING. FINALLY, I MADE HER A MENTALLY RETARDED FREE SPIRIT, WANDERING AROUND IN SLOW MOTION WHEREVER SHE PLEASED, DOING WHATEVER SHE PLEASED. DOTTY (PLAYED BY DIFFERENT PEOPLE), HAS BEEN CLIMBING OVER MY AUDIENCES EVER SINCE, PLAYING WITH THEM.

the outrageous beauty revue LOOKED LIKE TACKY ENTERTAINMENT PERFORMED BY UNTRAINED PEOPLE JUST FOR FUN. THIS WAS HOW MY CAST ALSO THOUGHT OF IT AND OF THEMSELVES. ONE OF MY MAJOR FAILINGS WAS THAT I DIDN'T PASS ON THE DEEPER PURPOSES, MAGICAL INFLUENCES, AND HIDDEN DIMENSIONS OF OUR PERFORMANCE WORK.

THE TACKY, WILDLY COLORFUL, LOUD SHOW OF BAD TASTE WAS REALLY A COVER, A DISTRACTION OF THE AUDIENCE'S ATTENTION, SO THAT THE HIDDEN MAGICAL TRANCE COULD TAKE THEM OVER. A TRANCE CAN BE CAST BY SHOWING THEM SOMETHING OUT OF THEIR REALITY. LITTLE KIDS OFTEN BECOME FROZEN ON THE SPOT WHEN THEY SEE ME, MY SPECIAL BODY, IN A CAFE. WE JUST GREATLY MAGNIFIED THIS TRANCE PROCESS IN THE SHOW BY THROWING OUT MANY OF THESE TRANCE INDUCING IMAGES OF TABOOS, OF CRIP ROCKSTAR, OF PREGNANT NUDES, OF SILLY SEX AND VIOLENCE. THEN THE REAL SHOW HAPPENED WITHIN THIS INNER TRANCE.

THE HEART OF THE WORKSHOP WAS demanding IN VARIOUS FORMS. THE ONLY THINGS OUT OF BOUNDS BOTH IN THE WORKSHOP AND IN THE GROUP WERE ACTUAL SEX BETWEEN NON-MATES AND HARMING VIOLENCE. THIS CREATED A SAFE ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH PEOPLE COULD ALLOW ONE ANOTHER TO TRUST, TO BE DEMANDED OF. IN THE WORKSHOP, I PICKED A PERSON TO MAKE A DEMAND EITHER ON A PARTICULAR PERSON, ON WHOMEVER HE PICKED, OR ON THE WHOLE GROUP. THE DEMANDED ONE MUST SATISFY THE DEMANDER. THE DEMANDER MUST STAY WITH THE DEMAND UNTIL HE IS TRULY AND FULLY SATISFIED. THIS PUTS BOTH THE DEMANDER AND THE DEMANDED UNDER PRESSURE OF HONESTY AND VULNERABILITY.

I RETURNED TO THE SMALL CHANNELS, AS OPPOSED TO THE MASS CHANNELS OF COMMUNICATION. WHILE MY INTIMATE COMMUNAL FAMILY WAS STILL THE BASE OF MY ART, ONLY LINDA AND I DID THE PERFORMANCE WORK. I WENT BACK TO THE PRIVATE PERFORMANCES TO CREATE A SPECIAL LANGUAGE FOR THE ALTERED REALITY OF PHYSICAL TRANCE.

I WAS HAPPY WITH THIS SMALLNESS. AFTER EVERY PIECE, LINDA AND I WOULD WALK HOME, TALKING ABOUT WHAT AMAZING THINGS HAPPENED, WHAT WORKED AND WHAT DID NOT, WHO CAME. FROM THE OUTSIDE, IT LOOKED LIKE NOTHING WAS HAPPENING. BUT IN THESE SMALL EVENTS, I EXPLORED THE TRANCE - INDUCING GESTURES OF ROCKING, OF WRAPPING BODIES… I CANNOT LIST ALL OF THESE DISCOVERIES OF SMALLNESS.

ANOTHER TOOL I DISCOVERED IN THESE PROLONGED SPELLS IS TO HIDE THE POWERFUL EROTIC RITUALS FROM THE PILGRIM AUDIENCE BY PERFORMING THEM INSIDE A LOCKED BOX, HIDDEN CAVE, OR SECRET TENT.

MORE THAN EVER, MY PUBLIC PERFORMANCES ARE JUST FRAGMENTS OF A LARGER PERFORMANCE. THE MAIN FORM THAT THE PUBLIC PIECES TAKE IS LONG RITUALS WHICH CREATE A TEMPORARY PHYSICAL COMMUNITY BY USING PHYSICAL TRANCE. THE SEARCH FOR COMMUNITY HAS LED ME TO SET UP A SHAMANISTIC PERFORMANCE SCHOOL, the university of possibilities. THE FOCUS OF THIS SCHOOL IS TO CREATE A MYTHIC LIFE.

IN A LOT OF PERFORMANCES I SPEND THE FIRST HOUR BORING PEOPLE, USUALLY BY ASKING WHAT EACH PERSON DOES, HOW DID HE HEAR ABOUT THE PERFORMANCE, ETC. I DRIVE IN MY WHEELCHAIR UP TO EACH PERSON AND TAP OUT THESE QUESTIONS SLOWLY ON MY LETTERBOARD. TALKING TO THIS STRANGE PERSON IN THIS STRANGE WAY MAY BE INTERESTING AS A CONFRONTATION. BUT LISTENING TO TRIVIAL CHATTER BETWEEN THIS DISABLED MAN AND EACH PERSON IN THIS "PAINFULLY SLOW" WAY CAN BECOME AN ACTIVE BOREDOM IN A ROOM WHICH LOOKS AS IF NOTHING ELSE WILL EVER HAPPEN. THIS ACTIVE BOREDOM IS A SLOW INCREASING SHOCK THAT MAKES PEOPLE WHO WANT QUICK-PACED, HIGH-ENERGY ENTERTAINMENT SUDDENLY BOLT OUT OF THE DOOR.

IT TOOK ME A COUPLE OF YEARS TO REALIZE THAT PEOPLE WILL NOT DO WHAT THEY CANNOT HANDLE; SO THERE IS NO REASON TO SHIELD THEM, MOREOVER, THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO HANDLE SLEAZY PEOPLE. BORING THEM IS ONE WAY. THERE ARE OTHER WAYS.

ONE NIGHT I STUPIDLY LEFT A PIECE OF CARPET ON A PART OF THE FLOOR. THE REAL AUDIENCE CROWDED ONTO THE CARPET, LEAVING THE ACTORS THE BARE FLOOR. SO THAT NIGHT, THE AUDIENCE WATCHED FROM THE RUG A BORING RITUAL… BORING BECAUSE THERE WAS NO MAGICAL PARTICIPATION BY THE AUDIENCE. I LEARNED THE HARD WAY THAT EVERYTHING IN THE PERFORMANCE REALITY IS IMPORTANT, EVEN A RUG.

THERE ARE PARTS WHICH COULD CHANGE THE WHOLE NIGHT DEPENDING ON HOW THEY ARE DONE. FOR EXAMPLE WHEN EACH PERSON, ONE BY ONE, PUT HIS CLOTHES BACK ON AND DESCRIBED EACH ITEM. THERE ARE MANY WAYS OF DOING THIS. WHEN THE FIRST "REAL" PERSON SAID: "THIS IS MY RED SOCK," I KNEW THE PIECE WOULD BE SHORT AND SHALLOW, BECAUSE ALL THE AUDIENCE MEMBERS WOULD FOLLOW THE SHORT PATTERN. IF, ON THE OTHER HAND, THE FIRST PERSON SAID: "THIS IS THE SLIME GREEN SHIRT THAT BOBBIE LEFT WHEN WE BROKE UP…" I KNEW WE WOULD BE THERE FOR HOURS BECAUSE EACH PERSON WOULD BARE HIS SOUL. I LEARNED HOW TO PICK THE RIGHT FIRST PERSON, SOMEONE WHO WAS SENSITIVE.

THERE WAS TREMENDOUS PRESSURE ON ME TO POLISH THE SHOW UP TO MAKE IT MORE SELLABLE, MORE ENTERTAINING. THIS PRESSURE DID NOT JUST COME FROM THE CRITICS, BUT ALSO FROM FRIENDS AND CAST MEMBERS. "ADD RIMSHOTS, TIGHTEN IT UP. THEN THE SHOW WILL BE A COMMERCIAL SUCCESS." "WE SHOULD REHEARSE MORE, THEN WE WOULD BE GOOD THEATER, GOOD MUSIC." BUT THE VISION IS NOT ABOUT COMMERCIAL SUCCESS, NOR REACHING A LOT OF PEOPLE, NOR ABOUT GOOD ENTERTAINMENT, NOR ART. THE VISION IS TO CREATE TRANCES AND REALITIES WHICH WILL BRING CHANGE. THIS IS MY VISION. THE VISION HAS ME. I AM ITS TOOL. IF I HAD NOT STAYED WITHIN THE VISION, I WOULD HAVE BEEN LOST WITHIN THE ARTISTIC PRESSURES. ART SHOULD BE A VISION QUEST.

ON THE NIGHTS THAT THE ACTORS DIDN'T CREATE THE REALISM, I WOULD STOP THE PLAY, GIVE THE AUDIENCE THEIR MONEY BACK, AND INVITE THEM TO RETURN THE NEXT NIGHT. THEY DID. I AM RUTHLESS IN PURSUING THE INNER QUALITY I SEEK IN PEOPLE.

I NEVER CANCELLED ANY OF THESE PERFORMANCES BECAUSE TOO FEW PEOPLE CAME. IT WAS A LAB WHERE NEW MODULES COULD BE BORN, WHERE MAGICAL ENERGY COULD BE RELEASED.

PEOPLE SOMETIMES ASK, "WHERE IS YOUR WORK HEADING? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO NEXT?" IT IS NOT MY WORK. IT IS NOT MY CHOICE. IT IS A GROWING, EVOLVING VISION. A PERFORMANCE DOES NOT HAVE A BEGINNING OR AN END. IT BRAIDS AROUND ITSELF, FLOWING ON. ONE THING'S FOR SURE. WE HUMANS ARE NOT THE END OF EVOLUTION.